Wednesday, December 19, 2007

...I can't...go on

Dear god, I didn't think I was going to make it through this night, but alas I did and it was fabulous. Old friends, new friends, old friends who've had botox and now look like young friends...gays, producers, tv stars and an open bar.

This is how I felt today after having spent all night last night at our Secret Society of the Knights of the High Order of the Nocturnal Karaoke Crooners' Wrap Party:

So I didn't much feel like going out.

Tonight was the holiday party for one of my favorite magazines, FRONTIERS. I did not want to go. Not at all, not one bit. I was just way too fucking tired from working every day all day, and going to all these ridiculous gay holiday parties. But it was my beloved FRONTIERS, my favorite gay mag here in LA, so I mustered up the strength to drive over the hill.

Fortunately, I recruited the company of my girlfriend-I-don't-sleep-with, Mariah Hanson to come along with me to help keep me propped up.

"Darling, I'm hung" I proclaimed to her dramatically as I arrived at her house Alla Auntie Mame to Vera (or visa versa)*, "So protect me at this party because I just don't have the strength and I just can't bare a large crowd." We both vowed we'd make an appearance then duck out. Well, cut to: three hours later, but I get ahead of myself.

*Meanwhile if you don't get the reference to Mame and dare you call yourself a homosexual. Shame, shame, shame. Please watch this video until you are fully gay:

(I had to use Angela Lansbury as a homage to her incredible performance in SWEENEY TODD the stage play in the wake of the movie release. My review of the film version is in the vlog at the end of this post)(Daniel, when we finally get to do BOSOM BUDDIES at karaoke I will expect that you have learned this entire dance routine)

So my evening started by waiting 8 1/2 hours for a 5'2" lesbian to put herself together. Argh, Jesus, FEMMES!! (I realize that comment will cost me $24 in wine buying-for-forgiveness-for-that-comment, but you know, there it is)

Meanwhile, I spent the time with one of my beloveds, Hank, seen here.

I called up the stairs to Mariah...."Darling, I just don't know if I have the strength to be gay tonight! Perhaps I could just take Hank to Shutters. Get a nice room overlooking the ocean. A bubble bath, maybe some cuddling as we gaze out over the waves with a wistful look in our eyes from knowing how fleeting yet ridiculously frivolous sans even a shred of profundity our existence is here on earth but knowing we could still enjoy the magic of that perfect little moment in time. Our time. A tale old by fools full of sound and fury signifying nothing...."

But she couldn't hear me as she was blow drying her hair. I don't even own a blow driver. Shit, I don't even own a comb or a brush!

Anyway, enough of my frustration with femmes and my love for Hank, maybe not enough, here's a shot of Hank with my sweetie Charlie.

Anyway, I'm sure you didn't tune into this blog to look at dog photos, so let me get to the party...

With two other fabulous producers of gay features, Stephen Israel and Phil Lobel (BOY CULTURE... you might have seen it and maybe enjoyed it kinda as much as SHELTER)
Stephen, darling, I promise to email you that script to you tomorrow as I promised!

With radio personality, Harrison on the Edge. Who we ran into - funny enough - or maybe just funny to me - right after Mariah and I prank-called radio personality Doria Biddle. Doria used to be Harrison's producer.

Mariah with FRONTIERS Editor in Chief Jeremy Kinser.
Jeremy Kinser

Todd Justice - yes that's his real name! - and his entourage.

Todd Justice

The crowd of men we had to fight our way through.
Frontiers Holiday Party Eleven

Mariah with brilliant filmmaker and self proclaimed "that red head you met at the party" Mike Roth with FRONTIERS co-Founder and Publisher David Stern.

With actor/producer David Millbern, Oscar nominated actress Sally Kirkland and Maggie Wagner.
David MilburnSally is the god child of one of my favorite people of all time Shelley Winters. I was highly influenced by reading her biography at an early, impressionable age!

My date flirting with another woman.

Two hot producers of hot gay films - me with Michael Gallant, exec producer of ADAM & STEVE.

Matt from GAY WIRED with entourage.

With Hector!

With Thea Gill, who I adore. And some boys. I never notice the boys when there's a beautiful blonde woman around....

Here is the cover boy from the invitation, Brandon on left standing with Larry, who was in the the film I produced last year, EATING OUT 2.

This man promised he'd email me tomorrow. I suspect he will. He is a political fundraiser and either a finalist or winner of the Mr Gay Competition. If you're a reader of this blog, you know how much I love the brains and the hunk.

The other fabulous LGBT nightlife blogger and promoter, Nelson! You can read about this event on his blog as well: Queer Diva Blog and see the picture he's taking now!

Calpernia, showing us the true, holy meaning of Christmas...which is looking fabulous by the holiday decor.

I was shocked to find out that my friend Ross does not read my blog. Ross you fucking bastard, I read everything you write!!!! This is where I break into Jimmy Sommerville, "Tell me whyyyyyyy?"
Which leaves me free to write all sorts of juicy, nasty dish about him because he'll never know and yet often wonder why people point and snicker when they see him out at restaurants. I'll think of something for later...stay tuned. Ross you are going to suffer the wrath of my keypad!

Okay, let's start now. Ross, in that article you wrote yesterday on Gay Wired about the 2 Degrees party (two days after my full coverage in this blog)... you spelled the name of the night's producer wrong!!!!

We love Elliot.

Mariah with a retired Paris Hilton impersonator (that's what he said!!!)

With Nick Chavez, who was lovely.

Okay, you've asked for it so here it is...another one of my gift bag vlogs, cohosted by Jack.*

Okay, I have one of those stat counters so I know that while my blog gets over a thousand hits a day, every time I post one of these videos they only get watched like 23 times. So for you loyal 23 viewers...this one is for y'all.

As another note, this evening I ran into two other people that were at last night's Secret Society of the Knights of the High Order of the Nocturnal Karaoke Crooners' wrap party - I grabbed each one of them by the lapel, pulled them close and urgently whispered, "I can't remember a thing from last night, what happened?" to which they BOTH responded, "NEITHER CAN I!" So CANNED those fucking photos already!!!
(this is Canned Heat at last Saturday's 2 Degrees. She holds the secrets of our secret society. She is the gatekeeper or the key bearer, if you will)

Although Tiffany (pictured here center) seemed to remember something from last night as she smiled coyly and hugged me...then a nudge and wink ... so I suspect - dear me - I did something naughty and tawdry in her general direction.

As far as Sweeney Todd is concerned, I have two words for you: Raul Esparza. That's who I woulda cast. Anyway, if you'd like a primer on Sondheim, my dissertation on him including tons of youtube clips of his work can be found in this blog archive:

If you made it this far...please check back later in the day when I get photos from my favorite photogs Faye Sadou and Tony DiMaio from their coverage of the evening. That's usually where all the embarrassing paparazzi photos of me are....

And if you'd like to see TONS more photos, especially of all the lovely boys, just go to Tony's Web Site.

*If you're new to all this, Jack is the cohost of my vlog because I recently paid $1200 for him to have surgery and I had to figure out a way to make that a tax write-off.

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