Sweet Cruise Update

Hello kittens,

As many of you know, I am floating around the Caribbean seas on a ship many have referred to as a giant lesbian sorority at sea.

One stereotype of lesbians is that we love drama, so our Sweet Cruise directors did not disappoint on Day One as the itinerary involved driving through a hurricane. The boat started rocking as we left the calm waters of the Mississippi River into the Gulf and the boat started rocking (um, to say the least) at around 10 pm. At that point, all the lesbians who were bummed that they were on the 5th floor - also referred to as "steerage" or the "Leonardo DiCaprio" ward - got the last laugh as the folks in the forward penthouse suites got to experience the fun of being lifted - full body - out of their beds all night. While they were having Hoot n' Annies downstairs, the 10th and 11th floors - also known as the Artists' Wing because all the talent was stashed there - were up all night as things flew off shelves and doors were slammed open and shut.

In fact, my next door neighbors - lovely couple from Australian - heard so much "banging" in my room, they actually called the steward to open my door to make sure everything was okay. Of course, at 2 am, I was up on the very top of the boat with my tribe* hanging off the front of the boat. Because that's how we roll. Meanwhile, now the joke is that my room gets more action when I am not in it. The banging was just my safe door.

All night, about 1/3 of the passengers threw up all night. You could tell the LA lezzes because the next day they were kinda thrilled about this and called it the Hurricane Ida diet.

A few nights ago, we had a celebrity filled staged reading of one of my upcoming feature films, The Road to Dinah. This was a blast for me, and a chance for the women to see what goes on behind the scenes of making a lesbian film. The reading included Mariah Hanson, Erin Foley, Gloria Bigellow, Nicol Paone, Jamie Babbit and more.

Here's an excerpt:


And here's the "non private collection" photos from the last few days. All I can say about the "private collection" is that I am going to have to have a really, really strong ego if any of these bitches start posting those photos. Any time you indulge in anything fun or crazy, like ten thousand cameras come out and there are flashes like you are Lindsay Lohan coming out of a nightclub.

DAY TWO:

Get the flash player here: http://www.adobe.com/flashplayer

Party time:

Get the flash player here: http://www.adobe.com/flashplayer

DAY THREE:

Get the flash player here: http://www.adobe.com/flashplayer

'80's Dance Party:

Get the flash player here: http://www.adobe.com/flashplayer

Yesterday I ran around Roatan with 10 apha females. Managed to avoid eating iguana and passed on drinking "jungle juice".

More later, kittens, today I go shopping and the tribe is already ringing my phone off the hook wondering where the fuck I am.

*the term we use to describe the packs of lesbians that have naturally formed amongst the passengers.